A Christianís approach life situations part 20
Today we will be looking at how a Christians should deal with family matters. Now, this could include a bunch of stuff, but I want deal with how Christians should view marriage and family life. However, the majority of this lesson will show how the Bible says we should deal with our children.
A Christian home should be different than a worldly home because the way our household is ran should be regulated by Godís plan for the home.
First of all, when a Christian man and women get married, they should realize that God wants their marriage to last until they die. So, Christians should enter their marriage knowing that is life time commitment. There are many in the world who do not view marriage as such. Instead, they have it in the back of their mind that they can simply get divorced if they donít like the way things are going and they can go find them another mate that will make life easier for them.
However, the Bible makes it clear that God hates divorce (Mal. 2:16) and He wants married couples to work their problems out instead of running from them by means of divorce. There are certainly situations where some are forced into divorce because it takes two to make a marriage work. However, the Bible only gives us one reason that a person can divorce and then remarry in order for that marriage not to be a sin.
"And I say to you, whoever divorces his wife, except for sexual
immorality, and marries another, commits adultery; and whoever marries her who
is divorced commits adultery."
Jesus says the only
reason a person can remarry and it not be adultery is if the divorce happened
because of sexual immorality. One other way the Bible permits someone to be
remarried is if their mate dies according,
Romans 7:2 For the
woman who has a husband is bound by the law to her husband as long as he
lives. But if the husband dies, she is released from the law of her husband.† 3 So then if, while her husband
lives, she marries another man, she will be called an adulteress; but if her
husband dies, she is free from that law, so that she is no adulteress, though
she has married another man.
These are the only 2
exceptions given in scripture that will make remarriage holy before the Lord.
These verses show how much importance God places on the marriage relationship. If
more people of the world would take Godís instructions on the importance of
marriage, the divorce rate wouldnít be over 50% in the
God gives the husband and
wife some excellent instructions on how to maintain a happy marriage and it
Ephesians 5:22 Wives,
submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord.†
23 For the husband is head of the wife, as also Christ is
head of the church; and He is the Savior of the body.† 24 Therefore, just as the church
is subject to Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands
in everything.† 25 Husbands,
love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself for
her,† 26 that He might
sanctify and cleanse her with the washing of water by the word,† 27 that He might present her to
Himself a glorious church, not having spot or wrinkle or any such thing, but
that she should be holy and without blemish.†
28 So husbands ought to love their own wives as their own
bodies; he who loves his wife loves himself.†
29 For no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and
cherishes it, just as the Lord does the church.
33 †Nevertheless let each one of you in particular
so love his own wife as himself, and let the wife see that she respects her
If you want to have a
happy marriage it has to be built upon love. If we are selfish and we only
think of ourselves then our marriage is going to be a difficult one. But, if we
love our wife or our husband like we do ourselves and we treat them like we
want to be treated then we are going to have a happy marriage. Paul tells the
men to love their wives as Christ loved the church and we all know that He
loved the church enough that He was willing to give His life for it. If we have
this same type of sacrificial love for our mate, we will learn to deal with the
differences that we have, and find away to compromise so that both parities are
Paul tells the wives to
respect their husbands because they are supposed to be the head of the
household and the spiritual leader.
1 Corinthians 11:3 But I
want you to know that the head of every man is Christ, the head of woman is man,
and the head of Christ is God.
In a Christianís family,
the husband should be a good example of righteousness to his wife and to his
kids. The wives should encourage their husbands to take on this God given role.
Sometimes us men need a little push in the right direction.
Both husband and wife
must work everyday at being examples to one another and especially to their
children. We cannot be living in sin or do things that are contrary to Godís
Word and then expect our children not to imitate our behavior. For instances, I
have been in homes where the parents teach their children that they shouldnít
drink alcohol because it bad for you, but then these same parents have a bar in
their home full of hard liquor and† beer
in the refrigerator. They drink it in front of their kid and yet expect them
not to be a drinker.
Another example would be
those who teach their children not to smoke because it so bad for you, yet mom
or dad will continue to smoke in front of the children.
I have known some parents
that would spank their children if they said a curse word, but those same
parents curse in front of their children all the time. I could continue giving
example after example, but these are enough to show that you must practice what
you preach. You cannot expect your children to take you seriously when you tell
them not to do something, yet you do it. If you really thought that is was
wrong, then you shouldnít be doing it yourself.
In a Christian family we
need to know what our children are watching on TV and especially what they are
looking at on the internet. It is far to easy these day for a young child to
see things and hear things that would make you cringe and sick at your stomach.
Another important thing
in a Christian home is that we worship together. Again this is another area
that the husband should be leading in. As a Christian, he should want his
family to have their priorities straight. He should encourage them to make it to
every worship service and bible class possible especially when it comes to his
One think that helps me
put things in perspective is by comparing what I am willing to do for worldly
things and comparing it to what I do for God. For example, many Christians
parents will make sure that they get up on time to get their children off to
school because they donít want them to be late. Even if they complain that
their tired or not feeling very well, they will make them get ready anyway and
send them off to school. While they are at school they are learning things that
they should and things that they should not.
†Five days a week they are exposed to other
kids that are educating them in the way of the world. They learn about drugs
and how they make you feel. They learn every curse word and dirty saying that
there is and they get pressured into having sexual relations before they are
married. If you donít believe me, just ask a few 1st or 2nd
graders what they know about some of these topics and you will find that know
quite bit about it. Now they may not fully understand what they have been
taught at that young age, but they still know the words.
Now I want you to think
about that as a Christian parent, surely you must understand the importance of
combating that sinful information with the righteous of God. We can combat the
negative information by teaching our children at home that those things are
wrong and show them why from the Bible. It also important that we take our
children to Bible class and worship, so they can learn more about Godís way and
how they should deal with these temptations and information that is being fed
to them at school. †
Yet, what do some
Christians parents do when it comes time to get ready for Bible class or
worship? Sometimes they will skip it because they are too tired or sometimes
they get up late and are not concerned with making it to Bible class or worship
on time. Do you see the difference? Why we would be so concerned about getting
our kids to school on time whether they are tired or not and not be concerned
about getting to Bible class or worship on time?
Now I donít know how it
is done at Lone Grove, but I know that when I went to school if you were late 3
times it counted as being an absence †and
you were only allowed a max of 9 days of absences per semester before the
failed you in that class. Could you imagine that being in place in the church
today? Ask yourself the question, How many absences would I have in a semester
based on the rules?
Friends we need have our
priorities straight. Jesus calls for us to put the kingdom first our lives.
Bible class and worship is absolutely essential for children to give the
greatest amount of exposure to the words of life that comes from the word of
We must realize that is
our responsibility to raise our children up knowing God, so that they will be
rooted and grounded in the Word of God.
Ephesians 6:4 And you,
fathers, do not provoke your children to wrath, but bring them up in the
training and admonition of the Lord.
Once again we can see
that the Father is supposed to be the spiritual leader of the house and he is
to make sure that his children are trained in the ways of the Lord.
Proverbs 22:6 †Train up a child in the way he should go, And
when he is old he will not depart from it.
These sayings in Proverbs
are generally true. Most of the time if you raise your child in a Christian
home, and you teach them and encourage them to follow after God they will.
However, sometime children can be taught the right way, but they can still
decide to move away from God when they leave the home. But, even those that do
walk away from God, you will see that many of the decision they make will be
based on Biblical principle because those principles will always be a part of their
To train a child up in
the Lord sometimes requires more than a good example or teaching them the right
way. Sometimes we have to discipline our children. While no one likes doing
this it is absolutely necessary to teach the child that their behavior will not
be tolerated. Some physiologist say that you shouldnít discipline, but instead
allow the child to figure things our for themselves. However, the Bible makes
it clear that disciple must be done.
Proverbs 29:15 †The rod and rebuke give wisdom, But a child
left to himself brings shame to his mother.
Proverbs 6:23 †Reproofs of instruction are the way of
Proverbs 29:17 †Correct your son, and he will give you rest;
Yes, he will give delight to your soul.
Without discipline, a
child will not learn to correct their behavior and an undisciplined child will
make the whole family miserable because the child will be out of control. Lets
look at a few passages that teach this same idea.
Proverbs 23:13 Do not
withhold correction from a child, For if you beat him with a rod, he
will not die.† 14 You shall
beat him with a rod, And deliver his soul from hell.
Proverbs 13:24 †He who spares his rod hates his son, But he
who loves him disciplines him promptly.
Notice we are discipline
our children promptly. If we wait to long then they will not associate the
punishment with their bad behavior. It also says that if we donít discipline
our children then we donít love them. The reason this said is because if we
love our children we want them to be right with God and not living a sinful
life and this requires discipline, so it must be administered.
We also learn from our
text one form of discipline that many psychologist look down on and that is a
spanking. As Proverbs 23:13 said a spanking is not going to make your child
die, but it can get their attention and make them change behavior so they donít
get another spanking.
Now when you do spank,
you should not spank when you are angry because you donít want be abusive. You
need to be in control when you spank so that you donít go overboard. Spanking
is a consequence of bad behavior and its important that you combine a spanking
with a rebuke as,
Proverbs 29:15 The rod
and rebuke give wisdom
Rebuking lets them know
why they are being disciplined this is why important that rebuking be a part of
any discipline that give you kids. If you simply grab them and spank them with
no explanation it will leave them confused even though you may think they know
why they got the spanking. Of course there are other forms of discipline that
we can use that are found in the Bible as well.
Ezra 7:26 †Whoever will not observe the law of your God
and the law of the king, let judgment be executed speedily on him, whether it
be death, or banishment, or confiscation of goods, or imprisonment.
Notice one of the
punishments listed here not obeying Godís law was confiscation. God did this
with the children of
When they misbehaveí we
can take away things that belong to them such a video games, computer time, or
TV time. Whatever they consider precious take it from them for a period of time
to show them that they will lose those things when they do not mind. This
method works very well on teenagers if they lose the privilege of driving for a
If your child does damage
to someoneís property or steals something, then you might make them work to
repair the damage or to work long enough to repay what the did. This is
something that happened in the OT as well. If a person was guilty of this and
they didnít have money to pay them back then they had repay by working for it.
When someone has to do some good ole fashioned labor to pay for their wrong
deed it usually will deter that child from repeating that mistake.
Another method comes from
what God said about the Babylonians and how they had dealt harshly with the
Isaiah 47:3 Your
nakedness shall be uncovered, Yes, your shame will be seen; I will take
vengeance, And I will not arbitrate with a man."† ††
One form of discipline is
letting people know what shameful sin your child committed especially a
teenager. If they get caught doing something shameful and you tell what they
did in front of them to their other family members or someone close to them it
will shame them and they will never forget it, and most likely they will never
repeat that wrong again.
Back in Ezra 7:26 we are
saw that a form of punishment was imprisonment. God used this method against
the children of
All of these methods of
discipline are there for us to use help us discipline our children and we must
be consistent because if we are not our children will not take us seriously and
they will keep pushing your buttons.
Finally, I have a message
for all the children. When you parents our grandparents discipline you, they do
it out of love and they want you to become a faithful member of Godís church.
Godís word has some instructions for you as well.
Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right.† 2 "Honor your father and
mother," which is the first commandment with promise:† 3 "that it may be well with
you and you may live long on the earth."†
God wants you to respect
your parents and your grandparents. It is your God given responsibility to obey
and honor them. They love you and would do anything for you so you should
respect the decisions they make and the punishments they give you.
You should be very
thankful that we are no longer living under the authority of the Old Testament
because I want you to see what Godly parents used to do be able to do when a
child would not obey and would not allow the punishment that was given to them
to change their ways.
Deuteronomy 21:18 "
If a man has a stubborn and rebellious son who will not obey the voice of his
father or the voice of his mother, and who, when they have chastened
him, will not heed them,† 19
"then his father and his mother shall take hold of him and bring him out
to the elders of his city, to the gate of his city.† 20 "And they shall say to the
elders of his city, 'This son of ours is stubborn and rebellious; he will not
obey our voice; he is a glutton and a drunkard.'† 21 "Then all the men of his
city shall stone him to death with stones; so you shall put away the evil from
among you, and all Israel shall hear and fear. †
When you think about
this, this should make you very thankful that you live under the New Testament
times and it should make you appreciate the discipline that you are receiving
right now because it far better than been stoned to death. So respect your
parents and realize they know what is best for you.
I hope this lesson has
shown you how important it is for a Christian family to be different than a
worldly family. We should do our best to choose the right mate and to make our
marriages last a life time. We have learned how important it is that we train
our children up in the admonition of the Lord by setting good examples, by
teaching them what is right in the site of God, bringing them to Bible class
and worship and disciplining them when it is necessary. Finally, we learned the
children are to obey their parents.